We all know that anger doesn’t get us anywhere, it just creates more tension and more ill-will, more separation from people and we only end up feeling bad about ourselves afterwards. The best thing is to see if we can avoid anger. We are told that the simple method of avoiding anger is to give ourselves a bit more rest. Because we have lost our resilience, we are so tired. We are on the edge, like a fuse waiting to be lit, simply because we are so tired, because we rush so much. We drive ourselves so hard – just one more thing … you say, one more thing… and then…we explode. But when we learn how to relax and find some ease in our mind and body, it is not quite so easy to become angry.
When people go on a meditation retreat and they learn a little bit about meditation, upon returning home, something happens which would normally really upset them and they find that now it does not. So find some time to do nothing and to relax, to cross-off the things that you are not going to do from the list this weekend. It is really important that we don’t just fix-up our house, we must first fix-up ourselves. What is the point in having a tidy house when our heart is not so tidy. What is the point of having a garden where everything is just beautiful, when our heart is so angry and violent? So we are told to first fix-up the garden inside us; the garden in which we really live. We are always so busy going somewhere, doing something that we forget to be just “being”. Another suggestion we are given is to lower our expectations of ourselves and others, so that we won’t become so terribly disappointed and angry when our expectations are not met. We should accept situations as they are. Do we get angry at traffic lights or computers when they don’t work in our immediate benefit? These machines do not have any conscience, let alone malicious conscience. When we lower our expectation of life, then we find ourselves getting angry more slowly. We find that we can work with life rather than against it. When we do get angry, and it will happen, practice detachment – making space between you and your experience – so we are not so lost in the process. As opposed to shouting suggestions to the athletes when we are watching a sports event, you simply be as an observer.
“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.” Buddha
Humour An elderly woman traveled all the way to a very remote place in Asia, a grueling journey from her home in NJ, to see a particular guru at an Ashram, when she finally arrived, she was told that the guru was on an indefinite silent meditation. After much negotiation the Ashram authorities agreed to permit her to see the guru, as she pleaded that she will not take up much time and she just wanted to tell him 3 words. Once she saw the guru she said: “Sheldon, come home”
We all know that anger doesn’t get us anywhere, it just creates more tension and more ill-will, more separation from people and we only end up feeling bad about ourselves afterwards. The best thing is to see if we can avoid anger. We are told that the simple method of avoiding anger is to give ourselves a bit more rest. Because we have lost our resilience, we are so tired. We are on the edge, like a fuse waiting to be lit, simply because we are so tired, because we rush so much. We drive ourselves so hard – just one more thing … you say, one more thing… and then…we explode. But when we learn how to relax and find some ease in our mind and body, it is not quite so easy to become angry.